lastcivilizedwoman

10 questions to ask a man…

May 23, 2017
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  1. are you selfish?
  2. do you think all women are bitches and whores?
  3. are you afraid? (of people, traveling, trying new stuff?)
  4. do you know how to share?
  5. do you know how to laugh?
  6. are you easy to talk to?
  7. are you a good listener?
  8. how do you feel about PDAs?
  9. are you a cheapskate or stingy (see selfish)?
  10. do you know when to just be there?

Bonus question:  are you gullible? (if he doesn’t know what “gullible means”, run!) if you don’t know what “gullible” means, go look it up, dammit!  and stop being gullible!

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double nickels and a full moon

January 15, 2014
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buttery moon 2014this evening, I watched a bright, butter yellow moon rise slowly over the tree tops while sitting on the train home this evening. I counted myself very fortunate to be able to sit still for 35 minutes and experience the phenomenon of that moon. I’ve seen that moon before, but never quite the way I saw it tonight.

at first I wasn’t sure what it was, it looked like something was on fire, because the top of it was barely seen through the tree-tops and it took 5 minutes to reveal itself  that bright, butter yellow orb that took its’ sweet time to appear in the distance.

i could blink and miss some aspect of that rising moon, so much so that it seemed as if the moon was frog- leaping into the sky should I look away.

i’m glad i got to see that moon rise. i count is a blessing and a privilege that i could sit still long enough to enjoy and appreciate it.

such a simple pleasure in this fast-paced world where everyone seems to be looking down (phone/ipad/laptop/notebook) at something in their laps these days.

i hope to see many more.

55mphfor the uninformed, double nickels means 55, which the age i will be in the spring. to me, this number is just as momentous as age 40 or 50 for that matter. it means that i am 5 years away from being 60 and that much closer to a retirement that i am not prepared for, neither emotionally nor fiscally. i, like many others, unfortunately dropped a lot of money into the stock market, relying solely on this as the way to secure my retirement future. bad idea. two years before i turned 50, half of the money i had saved was gone in the nuclear blast that was the housing market debacle. sucked away into a black hole.

sadly, this did not come to pass. to add insult to injury, two years after i turned 50, i was fired from my job. no severance, no golden parachute, nothing. i then made the mistake of assuming that my skills would put me back into the job market within a couple of months and ran around having some fun. it actually took 18 months and by that time, i had lived through the remaining money from my 401k. so much for the plans of worms and women.

i count myself foolish for believing the lie that the stock market would be the means towards my independence and comfort in my dotage.

i’m still grateful for having seen that moon.


up to no good

June 18, 2012
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Some people are made of plastic,
You know some people are made of wood.
Some people have hearts of stone,
Some people are up to no good.

Some people are made of lies
To bring you down
And shame your name.

Life is about making choices. Some choices we make are actually good for us, even though at the time we make them, it may not seem like it. Later down the road, we look back and realize even though that certain choice hurt, it may very well have been the catalyst to a better life, a better environment, a better happiness.

My topic is the choices we make when we choose a life mate, best friend, our keeper of secrets, etc.

Think of it this way, if you choose someone because they look good next to you, not because of how they treat you, care for you, or help you when your back is up against the wall, then you’re probably going to get an ass-kicking you deserve from that very person.

If you choose someone because of how they look, that really makes you shallow. The best thing you could ever do for yourself is find out how that person will behave with you when you are sick, broke, unemployed, depressed, or just plain down on your ass. Do they come by and just sit and talk with you, while watching TV? Do they offer to do something nice for you just because? Will they pick up the phone at random and just ask you how you are doing? Think about it this way, if you were out of a job, would they still be there, encouraging you to keep on keeping on?

Oh, it’s all fun and games while every body’s flush and pockets are bulging, we can spend money and lavish gifts with the best of them. But what about when your pockets are empty and you’re barely making it from one paycheck to the next? Is it all of a sudden, you can’t get them on the phone, or, you call them up because you’ve found something free and fun to do on Wednesday afternoon, they’re no where to be found? What about that time you had this great movie you rented for $1 and you invited them over to watch it with some popcorn and Kool-Aid and they told you they were going to a happy hour and then next thing you know, they’re back in your face, regaling you with stories of how fine the bartender was that night (didn’t dawn on them that maybe you’d like to have gone too)?

You know that old saying “looks can be deceiving” is a true statement on the state of human relations in the 21st century. You pick someone because they look good and you wind up with someone who’s more trouble than they’re worth. Narcissistic, selfish, mean-spirited, stingy, inconsiderate—but boy are they CUTE! Bullshit!

So does this mean you’ll date someone because they look good, or has a big penis, or tiny vagina, or “good” hair or blue eyes or hazel eyes or tall or muscular, and treat you like shit?

Or would you take the time to get to know someone, that someone who just might turn out to the best thing for you since sliced bread? Especially when it comes down to how you treat each other? Respecting one another’s opinion, allowing that person to be themselves, warts and all? Seeking constantly to find things you can share with each other? Finding out what makes the other person happy and doing that just because you know it makes that person happy? Or better yet, knowing when to shut up and just let them be?

One thing I’ve discovered, when we are young, we want to be right all the time, no matter the consequences. Well I’m here to tell you, knock that shit off! If you are lucky enough to make it out of your forties and you’ve been paying attention, you’ll discover it’s not important to be right all the time. What you start looking for is some mutual respect among your peers, friends and lovers and if you don’t find it, within a certain period of time, then you will move on. It’s not necessary to be right, it is, however, necessary to be treated well, especially when you look back at where you’ve been and what you put up with when your biological clocks were running and your body was following along willingly.

Try it this way, apply these principles at 20, not at 40 and the right person may turn up on your doorstep sooner than you think.

I keeping remembering being a little girl and reading those stupid fairy tales and watching those even dumber romance movies, where boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl in the end (barf time`) and there are thousands of women just like me who grew up with that shit and still believe it to this day! There ain’t no such thing as a happy ending in a fairytale. Women aren’t taught how to stand on their own two feet and be self-sufficient, we all grow up believing some guy is going to come along making 6-figures, buy us a 2-story house, a BMW, give us 2.5 children, put them through college, take a vacation in Europe every other year and then oblige us by dropping dead with the house paid off, the kids out of college and a million dollars in the bank, free and clear.

That’s a lot of burden to put on one human being. Why weren’t we taught to be self-sufficient, put our own money in the bank and buy our own BMW, 2-story house and skip the babies all together? Or better yet, help the man with getting all this stuff?!?!? What’s wrong with sharing the burdens and working toward the goals together???

But baby, I’m for real
I’m as real as real can get

If what you’re looking for
Is real loving
Then what you see
Is what you get!

(If you haven’t heard these song lyrics before, check out a 70s group called “The Dramatics”) on YOUTUBE  OR copy and paste in your browser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG-hD81o6Rs (no copyright infringement intended).


Remake the World

May 13, 2012
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I’d like to remake the world in to, not my image, but a place where people are more civil to one another. A place where work is work and home is home, and neither are ever put together, not even when out doing happy hours or meetings with co-workers.

The place that I live in is a place where people spurt bullshit about diversity and that’s all it is, bullshit. They have some kind of “vision” where everybody looks, talks, acts and dresses alike. They go on TV and put models up, saying look at us, we’re diverse and you walk through the front door and it’s a herd of cattle, munching on the same tired grass.

We live in a world where civility has taken a back seat to expediency, fair play has degenerated into back stabbing and saying excuse me, please and thank you has given way to pushing, shoving and silence.

I’d like to return to a time when individuality was valued and everyone didn’t walk around wearing khaki pants and polo shirts, unless it was a uniform of some kind. I’d like to return to a time when you could go on an interview and answer questions in your own voice; not the voice that’s running around in the head of some HR people these days who think their “vision” of a perfect department is an entire group of zombie employees who think, talk, act and look alike.

When you have a group of people in a room who are of the same mindset, what you have is a stagnant pool, which does nothing innovative, creative or original. You are only maintaining the status quo and in the world where I come from, you don’t last very long if you don’t think for yourself and keep working on being better, stronger, faster.  Most likely, that’s how Hitler came to power; people stopped thinking for themselves and let some megalomaniac do their thinking for them. God help us all if this is the future.

We keep driving cars that pollute the air, we keep buying groceries that are so over-priced, no one can afford to eat healthy anymore. Doctors don’t spend time talking with their patients and if you’re ethnic, they assume that you’re sick because you’re too lazy to go out and exercise.  Laziness doesn’t enter the picture because most minorities are busy living from one paycheck to the next, there’s no time to eat healthy or exercise. Those who want to work, usually work 2 or 3 part-time jobs because that’s all they can get. There are no more jobs that pay a decent living wage and those that do, they come up with some shite about “you need a college degree”. Yeah, right. There was a time when experience counted for something.

We put politicians in office who kowtow to big companies because they’re the ones with the money and we all know that money talks and the people get screwed, which is why JP Morgan is still throwing good money after bad and people like me lose half their life savings and nobody bothers to get it back for us. But our politicians keep bailing out these companies because they want the money that their PACs give them. All they are doing is passing money back and forth. PACs give the politicians money to look the other way while they rip off the voters and the politicians give the PACs’ companies money because nobody’s minding the store and stopping the corporate welfare system that’s currently in place. This is probably why welfare and public housing has been done away with. Big companies want the money that would be going to help poor people.