lastcivilizedwoman

10 questions to ask a man…

May 23, 2017
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  1. are you selfish?
  2. do you think all women are bitches and whores?
  3. are you afraid? (of people, traveling, trying new stuff?)
  4. do you know how to share?
  5. do you know how to laugh?
  6. are you easy to talk to?
  7. are you a good listener?
  8. how do you feel about PDAs?
  9. are you a cheapskate or stingy (see selfish)?
  10. do you know when to just be there?

Bonus question:  are you gullible? (if he doesn’t know what “gullible means”, run!) if you don’t know what “gullible” means, go look it up, dammit!  and stop being gullible!

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No dead humans and a Superman…

August 27, 2016
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August 25, 2016:

Going home as usual, not really concerned with my environment, but somewhere mentally always monitoring my surroundings while waiting for the Metrolink train to take me to the building I live in.  Too much time went by and the usually punctual train was not in evidence.

A lone security officer was walking up and down the eastbound platform and I heard a burst of sound from her radio saying something about a person wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans in the area, not realizing what was about to happen.

Next, the officer is asking us to please move to the opposite platform to catch the eastbound train. As I cross over, I can see further down there’s a human sitting in between the eastbound railroad tracks.

20160825_190603 Before the train appeared, the human moved just to the left outside rail and then we saw the train rolling slowly up the westbound side.20160825_190610

The human saw this also and got up to move into the train’s path, again lying down. When the human moved, it appeared to be a female.

20160825_190640

The woman you see on the right began to scream very unkind things about her finding someplace else to go and kill herself so she could go home, undoubtedly out of some misguided reverse psychology, which could have had the exact opposite effect.  I began to pray that the lady would move on her own, having a full understanding of what that kind of despair feels like.

You try to live your life in a way that’s beneficial and unselfish, but the rug gets pulled out from under you in ways you don’t expect; losing a job, a spouse, a child, a parent, a pet, a limb or something or someone you think you can’t possibly live without.

I understand this kind of despair. This kind of loss unfortunately, had the effect of teaching me not to become over-emotionally involved with another human to the point of despair ever again.

You know that old saying: “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.

Only problem with this is you have to recover from that loss and there are those of us out here who may not be able to recover. Hence the lady sitting on the train tracks. For her, it was a cry for help, that maybe someone actually answered.

The picture you don’t see is the man who walked down that eastbound platform and coaxed the despairing woman away from the train’s path. He stood with her and held her as we all boarded the train and moved out of this sad woman’s life.

My wish is that he took care of her and talked to her and helped her to get help and not despair. Not screaming at or belittling her like the woman in the picture did.

No one gets to try to take my life from me like that ever again.

And then, this guy showed up:20160825_192027_resized

Superman actually got on the eastbound Metrolink and chatted up the passengers, even though, like the proverbial Calvary, he was too late to do any good!

But maybe, there’s hope for us yet!


Burns hot and fast

March 10, 2013
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movies and TV teaches us how to have grand passions and lofty goals and massive dreams and flaming love. TV doesn’t show us how to just be ourselves with each other and relax in our own skins. It doesn’t allow us to be comfortable with each other and let passion be a simmer and not a roar. It teaches that love is an all-consuming inferno, burns hard and fast and then dies of boredom, instead of letting it take us on journeys of discovery of life together.

Even some of the books we read don’t teach moderation; of how to spend a quiet time, not gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes, but just letting the silence between envelope, caress and bind us, not in chaos and drama, but in soft, quiet joy and small conversations. We’re afraid to relax, because everything around us tells us we must go go go! It tells us to demand, not ask or counsel; to require, not negotiate. We don’t counsel; we criticize or correct. We cajole instead of caress.

Men and women spend their entire lives chasing each other around, not wanting to ‘die alone’, which is a dumb concept. No one can “die” with someone, even if they kill themselves at the same time. We die in our own skin, if we are lucky, surrounded by people who want our passing to be peaceful and joyous, in the midst of “leaving this world”.

We don’t tell each other our secrets and desires, we tell each other stories, not about the real us, but what we think the other person wants to hear.

If you are looking for a life partner, that person should be someone who wants to HELP. It is not someone who tells you you’re supposed to take care of them. Your life partner should be someone who wants to work with you to achieve your separate and common goals and dreams. You don’t grow apart, you always grow together and support each other through bad and good times.

It’s not about how much money and things you can give to keep that person with you or what you can get from someone because you’re too lazy to stand on your own two feet.

Be your own person and bring your best to your relationships and expect the other person to do the same.


an olympic moment

July 28, 2012
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympic_symbols#Olympic_rings Really Lolo? You’re in London at the frigging Olympics, on the greatest adventure of your young life and all you can think about is some dick and a having a wedding? Really?! I wish I was in your shoes, a lawfully wedded penis wouldn’t do me a damn bit of good standing out there on the ultimate world stage. Get a grip, girlfriend!!


up to no good

June 18, 2012
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Some people are made of plastic,
You know some people are made of wood.
Some people have hearts of stone,
Some people are up to no good.

Some people are made of lies
To bring you down
And shame your name.

Life is about making choices. Some choices we make are actually good for us, even though at the time we make them, it may not seem like it. Later down the road, we look back and realize even though that certain choice hurt, it may very well have been the catalyst to a better life, a better environment, a better happiness.

My topic is the choices we make when we choose a life mate, best friend, our keeper of secrets, etc.

Think of it this way, if you choose someone because they look good next to you, not because of how they treat you, care for you, or help you when your back is up against the wall, then you’re probably going to get an ass-kicking you deserve from that very person.

If you choose someone because of how they look, that really makes you shallow. The best thing you could ever do for yourself is find out how that person will behave with you when you are sick, broke, unemployed, depressed, or just plain down on your ass. Do they come by and just sit and talk with you, while watching TV? Do they offer to do something nice for you just because? Will they pick up the phone at random and just ask you how you are doing? Think about it this way, if you were out of a job, would they still be there, encouraging you to keep on keeping on?

Oh, it’s all fun and games while every body’s flush and pockets are bulging, we can spend money and lavish gifts with the best of them. But what about when your pockets are empty and you’re barely making it from one paycheck to the next? Is it all of a sudden, you can’t get them on the phone, or, you call them up because you’ve found something free and fun to do on Wednesday afternoon, they’re no where to be found? What about that time you had this great movie you rented for $1 and you invited them over to watch it with some popcorn and Kool-Aid and they told you they were going to a happy hour and then next thing you know, they’re back in your face, regaling you with stories of how fine the bartender was that night (didn’t dawn on them that maybe you’d like to have gone too)?

You know that old saying “looks can be deceiving” is a true statement on the state of human relations in the 21st century. You pick someone because they look good and you wind up with someone who’s more trouble than they’re worth. Narcissistic, selfish, mean-spirited, stingy, inconsiderate—but boy are they CUTE! Bullshit!

So does this mean you’ll date someone because they look good, or has a big penis, or tiny vagina, or “good” hair or blue eyes or hazel eyes or tall or muscular, and treat you like shit?

Or would you take the time to get to know someone, that someone who just might turn out to the best thing for you since sliced bread? Especially when it comes down to how you treat each other? Respecting one another’s opinion, allowing that person to be themselves, warts and all? Seeking constantly to find things you can share with each other? Finding out what makes the other person happy and doing that just because you know it makes that person happy? Or better yet, knowing when to shut up and just let them be?

One thing I’ve discovered, when we are young, we want to be right all the time, no matter the consequences. Well I’m here to tell you, knock that shit off! If you are lucky enough to make it out of your forties and you’ve been paying attention, you’ll discover it’s not important to be right all the time. What you start looking for is some mutual respect among your peers, friends and lovers and if you don’t find it, within a certain period of time, then you will move on. It’s not necessary to be right, it is, however, necessary to be treated well, especially when you look back at where you’ve been and what you put up with when your biological clocks were running and your body was following along willingly.

Try it this way, apply these principles at 20, not at 40 and the right person may turn up on your doorstep sooner than you think.

I keeping remembering being a little girl and reading those stupid fairy tales and watching those even dumber romance movies, where boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl in the end (barf time`) and there are thousands of women just like me who grew up with that shit and still believe it to this day! There ain’t no such thing as a happy ending in a fairytale. Women aren’t taught how to stand on their own two feet and be self-sufficient, we all grow up believing some guy is going to come along making 6-figures, buy us a 2-story house, a BMW, give us 2.5 children, put them through college, take a vacation in Europe every other year and then oblige us by dropping dead with the house paid off, the kids out of college and a million dollars in the bank, free and clear.

That’s a lot of burden to put on one human being. Why weren’t we taught to be self-sufficient, put our own money in the bank and buy our own BMW, 2-story house and skip the babies all together? Or better yet, help the man with getting all this stuff?!?!? What’s wrong with sharing the burdens and working toward the goals together???

But baby, I’m for real
I’m as real as real can get

If what you’re looking for
Is real loving
Then what you see
Is what you get!

(If you haven’t heard these song lyrics before, check out a 70s group called “The Dramatics”) on YOUTUBE  OR copy and paste in your browser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG-hD81o6Rs (no copyright infringement intended).