lastcivilizedwoman

thought for the day…

October 17, 2017
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Victimization culture

September 17, 2017
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We’re fighting the wrong battle from the wrong end. This is an environment where people who look a certain way are given opportunities and people who don’t look a certain way are denied opportunities because they are seen as not deserving of the same opportunities given to certain other people (aka white privilege).

Here in STL there was a man living with a gun to his head  that may have been because of these circumstances. He may have been forced into thug life so he could provide for the people he loved in the only way he was allowed to do. It may have been his environment, his family’s environment; it may have been his education or the lack of it. He may have been forced to live in a place similar to the one over on Chouteau @ Tucker, where the vermin are ruling and not the humans. If a restaurant had that problem, the city would shut it down and a whole lot of folks would be paying a whole lot of fines.

Yep, he was a drug dealer, living with a gun to his head, and we need to be addressing the whys of that condition, not the end of that condition. How’d he get to that point in the first place? Was he trying to save his mother and siblings from more victimization? Will his offspring (cousins, nieces, nephews) end up there also?

We live in a victimization culture. I thought originally that it was only against brown-skinned women, but it’s actually across all races and not just against women.

Can’t figure out if it’s because of rap music, violent video games, no religious or moral upbringing and all of which is embedded in culture, which no one recognizes anymore.

We have a president who is a victimizer. So, it stands to reason that the people who voted for him either allow it to happen or participate in the activity.

But I digress.

We live in a culture where (most) men have been exposed to and internalized behavior that in the 1970s, would have caused a backlash so severe as to shut down a whole lot of shit and not just several streets in the Delmar Loop or the streets around the mayor’s house in the Central West End.

This is not the case today because any one is capable of victimizing someone else and then stand there acting like nothing is happening and the person complaining about it must be crazy.

It’s a victimization culture when a man asked his opinion on live TV he comes up with “I believe in the 1st Amendment and I believe in boobs. They’re the only things that haven’t let me down.” The female newscaster shut the whole thing down and good for her.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/third-rail/episodes/episode-2-is-america-becoming-more-or-less-racist/

It’s also a culture of hate speech (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_speech) that you may not know is being fought regularly by the US Supreme Court (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_speech#United_States).  Hate speech is protected as long as it doesn’t endanger someone’s life.

The problem here is that victimization and hate speech have become the norm in our society as moral behavior and religious restrictions are shrugged off, these activities/behaviors/concepts are becoming more and more embedded in the US culture and even the entire world.

There are countries that mutilate girls’ genitalia. There are countries that stone, beat or gang-rape women who are out after a certain time at night.  There are countries that conscript/kidnap young girls to stop their education and force them into prostitution.

I would not walk down the street in my downtown neighborhood after 8 pm without carrying a taser or pepper spray (and I live in a nice neighborhood!).

Pick a city, any city and the culture is now allowing police officers to shoot someone even if they are running away and there are no consequences.

The officer in STL who was acquitted of murder charges for killing a drug dealer after a high speed chase. Even though he only made one recorded comment about killing the guy, the prosecution, according to the judge, “did not prove beyond a reasonable doubt there was premeditation in the shooting.” The funny thing is, that human being was very likely deprived of his “due process under law”.

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution). But no one has addressed that and double jeopardy applies here.

The horrible thing about this,the wrong human hasn’t died yet. AIDS wasn’t a “problem” until Rock Hudson died from it.  Then everybody got all excited. At some point in time, some cop somewhere is going to shoot the wrong person and then those constitutional amendments and deprivation of due process of law will get a workout.

The excuse all the officers are using “I was in fear of my life”. This is becoming rote and trite because someone somewhere taught them this in a class and very likely included the warning “sound sincere” when you utter the phrase and they’ll believe it.

This brings me back to the “victimization culture”. In this culture, people don’t call you “nigger” to your face. They think it and it comes out in their behavior. Think about that for a second.  The internet, because of  relative anonymity and “safety” of the computer, allows people to say, post, film, write, anything they please, with no hint of repercussion. Now, there need to be rules applied to internet usage because people don’t seem to be able to self-censure themselves any more and now it’s leaching into what used to be polite society.

In this cop’s case, he spoke words, which may have included thoughts (nigger) that we can’t prove (unless he slips and says it in the future) and then proceeded to act upon those words and possible thoughts. The “thoughts” are inadmissible in court. Dash and body cams can’t record thoughts. And, since the officer knows he’s being recorded, he’s going to “act” to that recording to evade “capturing” his real intent.

We have a president who does things like this, http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/17/politics/trump-tweet-clinton/index.html which proves he is the titular head of this victimization culture. Bet money there’ll be a retraction stating “he didn’t send the tweet, a misguided aide did”. I think this tweet actually does fall under unprotected hate speech, because it specifically targets a particular person.

This tweet comes after everyone dumped on Kathy Griffin for her photo while holding the “head” of the current president. She had gigs cancelled left and right.  She got trashed on TV, internet, in magazines and newspapers.

Maybe it’s time for the US to move toward an impeachment culture and get this victimizer out of office.

 


10 questions to ask a man…

May 23, 2017
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  1. are you selfish?
  2. do you think all women are bitches and whores?
  3. are you afraid? (of people, traveling, trying new stuff?)
  4. do you know how to share?
  5. do you know how to laugh?
  6. are you easy to talk to?
  7. are you a good listener?
  8. how do you feel about PDAs?
  9. are you a cheapskate or stingy (see selfish)?
  10. do you know when to just be there?

Bonus question:  are you gullible? (if he doesn’t know what “gullible means”, run!) if you don’t know what “gullible” means, go look it up, dammit!  and stop being gullible!


hate speech 101

June 26, 2016
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hate speech is any speech, gesture or conduct, writing, or display which is forbidden because it incites violence or prejudicial action against or by a protected individual or group, or because it disparages or intimidates a [particular] individual or group.”

any time the donald stands up in front of a crowd and cameras, he is practicing “hate speech”. nowadays, people hide hate speech in dog whistle rhetoric, pretending concern over the current state of affairs vis-a-vis “the immigrant situation”, “the crime situation” or “the muslim situation” . it’s all cleverly hidden rhetoric for the same tone, language and attitudes that many whites had when I was growing up as a child. “the only good ni-word is a dead n-word”, except now, it takes 20 words to say the same thing the previous 8 words say. if you notice, these words are coming out of the mouth of a human who thinks his money makes him invulnerable to consequences. if anyone complains, his lawyers get together and throw money at the problem until it goes away. trump gets the bill and that’s all he gets.

if you thought reagan and bush were bad, wait’ll you get a load of “the donald”. bend over and kiss this country good-bye.

this probably means we need to now add immigrants, gays and muslims to the “protected” category in the 1st amendment.


Dr. King is Dead…

February 7, 2016
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mlk statue

“out of a mountain of despair, a stone of hope”

and something very strange is going on…

Black people are being judged by the color of their skin…

not the content of their character…

It’s why so many black people are being murdered…

and all of us are targets in this 21st century…

 

 

 

 

 

who’s going to save us now?

in prison

 

 


on being michael brown jr.

November 30, 2014
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one white cop.

one young black man.

one with a gun.

one with his fists.

Darren Wilson.

Michael Brown, Jr.

 

In the shortened version of this story, the white cop did not sustain enough damage to justify killing an unarmed black man.  If he looked like Rodney King or Reginald Denny, I would be able to understand his shooting this young man to protect himself from being beaten to death. Looking at the pictures that were taken of him at “hospital”, left me shaking my head in wonder.

In the long, drawn out version told to the alleged Grand Jury, this officer feared for his life at the hands of a big, black teenager. There’s a possibility that this young man generally used his substantial size to bully and coerce others into doing his bidding. His parents said he was a gentle giant, but the video of him picking on the smaller adult in the store he took the cigarillos from, you can extrapolate that this young man did know he was big and burly and could get what he wanted by using his size to do so.

By the way, the cop was well-coached by his lawyers. He had to tell his story as straight-faced, unemotional and neutral-voiced as possible in order to be credible, even if he was lying through his teeth.

In the next version (mine), you have to wonder if the white cop was thinking with his primal brain when he kept pulling the trigger because Brown Jr. just wouldn’t stop coming and Wilson knew that if he just kept shooting, he could make this big-ass bear-child stop walking towards him with murder in his eyes. In my version, the question arises “was Wilson afraid or was he playing target practice with this young man?” In my version, I would also include the question of why Wilson couldn’t take a couple of punches from this unarmed black man and if he did take  couple of punches, why isn’t he walking around with at least one black eye, some knuckle-shaped purple-black bruises, a broken or dislocated jaw or a thoroughly damaged ear? If he was afraid for his life, does that mean that the slaps he probably got from Brown did, at least, dislocate his jaw? To me, that much damage might justify this officer shooting this unarmed black man to death.

The pictures I’ve seen of Wilson, there’s not enough facial damage done to warrant shooting Brown to death. The grand jury should have found probable cause to indict, based on the evidence. There should also be questions as to why Wilson was “walking” shots up this young man’s body. Was it target-practice? A well-placed couple of shots to the knees or femur would have gone a long way towards putting this young man down and preserving his life, extra “witnesses” be damned.

The question this so-called Grand Jury didn’t ask: why didn’t Wilson shoot to disable (a knee cap, femur or ankle) instead of taking the life? Was he thinking with his primal brain (kill the threat/or run like hell) or with his logical brain (play target practice on the n-word and make him suffer).

It appears to me that cops are no longer attempting to disable or maim, they are killing young black men, even if the circumstances don’t warrant it. They are not being trained to recognize when the primal brain is trying to take over to end a confrontation at all costs, instead of the logical brain which would calculate where to put a bullet to stop or slow further mayhem from happening. I would rather see an alive human being, missing an arm or leg rather than see a human being lying in the street unarmed and dead.

Some time in the not too-distant future, we’re going to find out that the 3 black jurors probably caved in to the 9 white jurors. Blacks here in MO are notoriously afraid of white people for absolutely no good reason. The blacks here keep giving whites some sort of power over what they say and do and always seem to be acquiescing to them, even to the detriment of their own opinions, ideas and lifestyles.

I think it’s way past time for black people to “stand their ground” and demand to be treated and given the same privileges as the white people in Missouri currently enjoy. There is economic opportunity everywhere in this state if everyone would realize the only color that matters is the color of your money.

It’s time for Black folks to stop ”stepping off the sidewalk” and “getting out of the way” and to demand respect, fair treatment and equal rights from whites in Missouri.

A leader is needed who’ll tell it like it is and confront the issues that are holding race relations in the state of Missouri hostage.

Black people here are living and working as if it is still the 1950s and Jim Crow is alive and well. The only place it’s okay to sit up front is on the bus or the MetroLink and only in a seat by yourself, because a white person will not sit next to you.

Missouri needs a governor who is not suffering from “tunnel” vision when it comes to what is really going on among both groups of his constituents. Missouri needs politicians who are aware and not afraid to confront and speak about what is holding this state and its’ people back from becoming an important player in the world market.

Missouri really needs to stop trying to keep the world off its’ doorstep and allow real progress to be had both in education, economics and racial equality, access to information and genuine communication. If MO wants to be a player in the world market, its’ leaders need to stop controlling “outsiders” access to creating businesses and come up with a plan to properly educate all  of its’ citizens.

MO needs a leader that is willing to welcome business ventures from outside the state that would help the state to grow and truly enter the 21st century global market.  It needs to have leaders who are non-exclusive in who they will deal with or communicate with in this current global environment.

When will MO become “the state that’s too busy to hate”

and invite the world to its’ front door?


thought for the day

January 18, 2014
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shut up! sometimes the best way to be heard is to stop talking.


double nickels and a full moon

January 15, 2014
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buttery moon 2014this evening, I watched a bright, butter yellow moon rise slowly over the tree tops while sitting on the train home this evening. I counted myself very fortunate to be able to sit still for 35 minutes and experience the phenomenon of that moon. I’ve seen that moon before, but never quite the way I saw it tonight.

at first I wasn’t sure what it was, it looked like something was on fire, because the top of it was barely seen through the tree-tops and it took 5 minutes to reveal itself  that bright, butter yellow orb that took its’ sweet time to appear in the distance.

i could blink and miss some aspect of that rising moon, so much so that it seemed as if the moon was frog- leaping into the sky should I look away.

i’m glad i got to see that moon rise. i count is a blessing and a privilege that i could sit still long enough to enjoy and appreciate it.

such a simple pleasure in this fast-paced world where everyone seems to be looking down (phone/ipad/laptop/notebook) at something in their laps these days.

i hope to see many more.

55mphfor the uninformed, double nickels means 55, which the age i will be in the spring. to me, this number is just as momentous as age 40 or 50 for that matter. it means that i am 5 years away from being 60 and that much closer to a retirement that i am not prepared for, neither emotionally nor fiscally. i, like many others, unfortunately dropped a lot of money into the stock market, relying solely on this as the way to secure my retirement future. bad idea. two years before i turned 50, half of the money i had saved was gone in the nuclear blast that was the housing market debacle. sucked away into a black hole.

sadly, this did not come to pass. to add insult to injury, two years after i turned 50, i was fired from my job. no severance, no golden parachute, nothing. i then made the mistake of assuming that my skills would put me back into the job market within a couple of months and ran around having some fun. it actually took 18 months and by that time, i had lived through the remaining money from my 401k. so much for the plans of worms and women.

i count myself foolish for believing the lie that the stock market would be the means towards my independence and comfort in my dotage.

i’m still grateful for having seen that moon.


Burns hot and fast

March 10, 2013
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movies and TV teaches us how to have grand passions and lofty goals and massive dreams and flaming love. TV doesn’t show us how to just be ourselves with each other and relax in our own skins. It doesn’t allow us to be comfortable with each other and let passion be a simmer and not a roar. It teaches that love is an all-consuming inferno, burns hard and fast and then dies of boredom, instead of letting it take us on journeys of discovery of life together.

Even some of the books we read don’t teach moderation; of how to spend a quiet time, not gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes, but just letting the silence between envelope, caress and bind us, not in chaos and drama, but in soft, quiet joy and small conversations. We’re afraid to relax, because everything around us tells us we must go go go! It tells us to demand, not ask or counsel; to require, not negotiate. We don’t counsel; we criticize or correct. We cajole instead of caress.

Men and women spend their entire lives chasing each other around, not wanting to ‘die alone’, which is a dumb concept. No one can “die” with someone, even if they kill themselves at the same time. We die in our own skin, if we are lucky, surrounded by people who want our passing to be peaceful and joyous, in the midst of “leaving this world”.

We don’t tell each other our secrets and desires, we tell each other stories, not about the real us, but what we think the other person wants to hear.

If you are looking for a life partner, that person should be someone who wants to HELP. It is not someone who tells you you’re supposed to take care of them. Your life partner should be someone who wants to work with you to achieve your separate and common goals and dreams. You don’t grow apart, you always grow together and support each other through bad and good times.

It’s not about how much money and things you can give to keep that person with you or what you can get from someone because you’re too lazy to stand on your own two feet.

Be your own person and bring your best to your relationships and expect the other person to do the same.


STL — some catching up to do

March 10, 2013
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St. Louis is a Mecca for every racist known to man. They come here from different cities and countries and no matter how enlightened one may be, everyone who comes here will believe that a black person is inferior just because of the color of their skin.

Never mind that if you are a black person who is well educated, literate and articulate, at some point in your career in this city, you will be forced to endure treatment as a second-class citizen.

You’ll be disrespected by Caucasians, Native Americans, east Asians, regular Asians,  Polish, Irish, Italians and anyone else who comes to or lives in STL. There’s also a good possibility that someone Black will do the same thing.

They all come here or were born here and they all eventually absorb the erroneous assumption that a black person is inferior.

They use a word like “arrogant” in place of the N-word in order to denigrate and insult.

In the workplace, the racists hide and pretend to follow “company policy” to treat each other with respect and courtesy, but at some point, the prejudice comes oozing out, usually in the form of one of these folks trying to put the black person “in his or her place”.

It shows up in the form of constant criticism about performance, belittlement of one’s talent and skill, a constant questioning of ability and most of all, being ignored whenever a suggestion is made to do something better or in a different way.

You cannot attempt to keep an entire group of people face down in the dirt and expect a city to prosper.

Atlanta, GA learned that lesson a long time ago. It calls itself “the city that’s too busy to hate.”

St. Louis has a lot of catching up to do. They have forgotten to invite everyone to the table.


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